I hope it rains D90s tomorrow.
Uhhh, nak couple boleh?
I am so regretting myself from venturing photomalaysia.com :( I am desperately screaming for an upgrade from my Nikon D70s. First of all, its old. 6 Megapixels ( yes 6MP thats half than of a current standard compact camera ) I couldnt crop, I cant do large prints, and the worst of all if I kept doing my precious work its all going down the drain why? I could barely do exceptional quality large prints. Second, this is gonna save me some big bucks from buying all those effin 500w head strobe heads why? D70s doesnt support Auto FP Sync which allows up to 1/4000th of a second with a portable flash, without it I have to get a freakin powerful strobe to fight off the sun and those strobe heads aint that cheap, when I said it aint cheap it fuckin’ aint :(.
I couldnt stand no more. Its old and its dying, I bought it off second hand when I began it already did 16,000 shutter counts, I havent tried reading the latest exif files to know the current shutter. I bet its gonna be more than 60,000 :/ maybe. The built in flash count fire properly, out of sync, sometimes it wont fire at all, thus Nikon Creative Lighting doesnt work. Next, it crash and corrupts some images at random. Low ISO performance, I cant snap dark scenery unless im using my 50mm f/1.8 at ISO 800 :(. Last, the LCD is a friggin tiny 2 inch so I have to zoom in and check everything then zooms out again, I cant even tell if I focused right unless I zoom in again to check -___-”.
Now im considering to sell off two of my Nikon SB-600 to get this and its still aint enough :(. Its hard to earn this stuff all on my own, I envy those people who could just beg their parents to buy whatever they want :( considering im taking photography as my major. I could only afford an effing second hand D70s and a effin second hand 50mm 1.8, FML.
My other option would be this…
26th July.
I thought I’d get a day break from all this, but hell I was wrong. It was suppose to be my happiest day spending time with all of you. How could you, I’ve stood up for you. Looking at the brightest side, I still have friends who stood by me. Looking at the darkest side, I realized I can count my friends with my ten fingers. I didn’t know ego was far more valuable than friendship. Thank you my friends who personally wishes me with some exceptions I know some of you from abroad. I’ve shed tears, thank you for making it and ruining it my friends.
to those who showed up, is an invitation itself to prove who my real friends are.
…that was a surprise.
Congratulations Aira! ( my older sister ).
Sorry that you’ve turned into seemlessly nice bokeh :P
Words that kept me going
Today I woke up around 4pm, opened up my laptop, log into my MSN, an offline msg appears and its from;
Its my dad! I was stunned, after reading i felt the sudden urge to cry, and i did. Finally, a valid reply from my dad, for the first time I cried because I was happy to know, that even though we dont see or talk to each other that much, and even if we do we’ll ended up in a fight with your games :), you’re there for me. Abah thank you, I was very touched by those words you just gave me. I need this Abah, thank you very much. I love you Abah, Mama. Haha, im still working on that last part Abah :’ )
The thing that made my life a living hell.
Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a blanket term for a variety of diseases causing discomfort in the gastro-intestinal tract. It is also called spastic colon, is a functional bowel disorder characterized by chronic abdominal pain, discomfort, bloating, and alteration of bowel habits in the absence of any organic cause. In some cases, the symptoms are relieved by bowel movements.Diarrhea or constipation may predominate, or they may alternate (classified as IBS-D, IBS-C or IBS-A, respectively). IBS may begin after an infection (post-infectious, IBS-PI) or a stressful life event. Other functional or pain disorders and certain psychological conditions are more common in those with IBS.
Although there is no cure for IBS, there are treatments which attempt to relieve symptoms, including dietary adjustments, medication and psychological interventions
The exact cause of IBS is unknown. The most common theory is that IBS is a disorder of the interaction between the brain and the gastrointestinal tract, although there may also be abnormalities in the gut flora or the immune system
Source from Wikipedia.org
I really need therapy to get rid of this effin thing. Sorry about posting lots of wikipedia shit nowadays, I have really turned nocturnal this few days. Shessshhhhh there goes my normal everyday life :P
Another day wasted, so does the opportunity.
Envy (also called invidiousness) may be defined as an emotion that “occurs when a person lacks another’s [perceived] superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it. It can also derive from a sense of low self-esteem that results from an upward social comparison threatening a person’s self image: another person has something that the envier considers to be important to have. If the other person is perceived to be similar to the envier, the aroused envy will be particularly intense, because it signals to the envier that it just as well could have been him or her who had the desired object
“Bertrand Russell said envy was one of the most potent causes of unhappiness.”
- Source from wikipedia.com
Now I understand how you felt, by not keeping ourselves busy from questioning and comparing oneself. Fighting for affection, and the feeling of being and to desire friends, families, and loved ones. Please lend a hand and show me that you care, pull me out of this misery. The agony, its killing me.
Owh yes, its that time again
After one disappointment after another, it has really taken a toll on me.
Today I was suspected having High Blood Pressure, going to have my medical checkup tomorrow. This is totally ridiculous. Oh yes, its that time again. If you know me well enough, I used to have a long history of illnesses because of stress. Hope its nothing serious.
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